Sometimes you can really tell what your friends think of you by the gifts that you receive from them. As you know we had a flat warming party last month. It was quite the bash with food, shitloads of booze and some lovely music. Wait a second that last part doesn´t seem right…..
Oh yeah, that was because one of my friends as a little housewarming gift gave me an album that is truly SPELLBINDING in its gimlet eyed destructive power, and i have been listening to it properly for the first time today. boy and girls, I give you the self titled album by Kalli Bjarni!
Now for those non Icelanders who don’t obviously know or care, Kalli Bjarni was a guy who ended up winning the first season of Idol Strörnuleit, Iceland’s version of Pop Idol in 2004. Much was made of his tale as a simple fisherman who had the voice of an angel, blah, blah… With his new-found fame. Kalli went on to record his first and only album, a testament to his awesome songwriting skills.
But just how great is the album? For starters, there is the title cover…
I mean look at that face. It just screams “I´M A FUCKING POPSTAR. LOOK AT ME!” It most certainly is the face of a clean-cut man, who alas has just been told by the photographer that his mum is a slag. Or maybe he’s trying to look studied and serious, trying to say with his face “Ok i may have won a crappy contest that was judged by Bubbi Morthens, but i have the talents that would make Damien Rice wince slightly with envy!”. Or maybe he looks like a drug dealer (more on that later…)
Ok the front cover may not be a winner. But perhaps he can be redeemed by the quality of his songwriting work. Let’s take a gander….
Hmmm…. sounds to me like hope and pleasure just upped and choked to death on its own vomit. And that vomit was a bland as day old porridge. Hey, we can´t all be Björk and Jónsi from Sigur Rós can we? It also shows how much my friends love me too, the Shits!
Where was i? Oh yeah, what happened to Kalli? Well after this album his career pretty much tanked and there many lurid tales of drug taking (including one with teenage girls at what was called “a low rent hotel”). It all culminated in him being arrested for trying to smuggle 2 KG of drugs through the airport. While he stated that he was doing this under duress from people he said he owed money to, he ended up being sent to jail for 2 years this dastardly deed.
Remember kids, if you win Pop Idol you will only end up on a hellish path that includes taking drugs with underage girls in hotels.
Lucky Bastard what a shame…..